NOTE TO SELF: Know Who You Are and Who You Are Not! (Stupid!)

I know that we all should be the same in the eye sight of God.  But I have to come back to the reality that we are not all the same!!!  Some shorter people can come through a doorway with plenty of room overhead to spare, but there are others that have to duck their head when they come in a room or they will end up with a nice sized lump on their head!  I always try to raise awareness wherever I go and whenever I can about the reality of people with "disabilities."  At church I try my best to make people aware of the fact that folks with "disabilities" don't really show up in our services.

The 2000 census reports that 14% of the population in Gwinnett county Georgia is "disabled."  But the percentage of those same people that attend church on Sunday morning are no where near that number.  There are several reasons for that.  At New Mercies Christian Church, we are working on a solution to that problem.  However, today I was personally reminded of why the number of disabled worshipers are so low. 

No, no one did anything to me.  No one said anything offensive.  My church family is wonderful, wouldn't trade them for anything.  It just so happened that I was the one that reminded ME of how difficult it can be to be different.  I know that as a man, if I have "man" issues there are several wise men that I can go to talk to about my "man" issues.  I also know that if I have spiritual issues there are several wise spiritual people that I can go and talk to about my spiritual issues. 

I know that I have photography related questions, there are a couple of very good photographers there that I can talk to about any photo related issues.  The list goes on and on until I get to issue that relate to being disabled.  Who can I talk to that really understands?  I know that there are a church full of people that empathize with the issues that I sometimes have, but I can't bring myself to talk to them about it because I don't see how they could understand.  I know that they mean well.  I know that Deacon JOnes or Deacon Armstrong, both of whom are NFL greats, don't come to me to talk about any football related issues that may have.  That's because I never played for championship NFL team (or any other football teams for that matter!)  That makes sense to me.

So, what do I do?  I talk to my wife about it because I know that she knows how much it hurts.  When I feel like I want to withdraw from the folks that I know don't understand, what do I do.  Today I feel like it would be easier for me to be like many of the other disabled people and stop going to places like church, trying to fit in and be one of the guys; trying do things like they do and expecting for things to just work out.  I am reminded that things just don't work out all of the time.  So, what do I do when I would rather do anything but go back, I go back.  Because I know what God has for me there outweighs anything that I have to go through to get it!

So, I will keep going to 5am prayer for the rest of the year and continue to build my relationship with God and talk to Him.  I will continue to strive to be a better husband and father.  I will be the greates photographer of all time (next to Howard Bingham.)  I will book a session with Prisana as soon as possible and get back to doing what I do best.  You would think that after all these years I would remember to Know Who I Am and Who I'm Not!

Remain blessed!